Why you act the way you do – Tim Lahaye book review. If you’re looking for a book that can help you better understand yourself and the people around you, then check out ‘Why You Act The Way You Do’ by Tim Lahaye. This book is all about helping you
Why you act the way you do | Tim Lahaye
If you’re looking for a book that can help you better understand yourself and the people around you, then you should definitely check out ‘Why You Act The Way You Do’ by Tim Lahaye. This book is all about helping you to identify the motivations behind people’s actions. It’s an excellent read for anyone who wants to improve their relationships with others, and it’s definitely worth your time.
“There is hardly a function in life that is not influenced by temperament”. Temperament is “a set of inborn characteristics that subconsciously influence one’s behavior.”Tim Lahaye
Who is Tim Lahaye
Tim Lahaye is a nationally recognized speaker with a literature degree who has written books and thought-provoking messages. Lahaye has an interest in people’s temperaments and personality types – especially in finding out how that temperament influences their lifestyle, in everything from spending to family life to eating habits.
Relevance to Financial Independence
Recommended to me by Shang from SaveMyCents.com, Why You Act the way you do by Tim Lahaye in 1984 is a book on behavioural psychology. It is a great read to understand our own mindset, behaviours and habits.
This is especially important for those on the path to Financial Independence, especially if you are trying to curb expensive habits like high spending, or self destructive habits like continually changing investment strategies.
Lahaye explains how you can improve yourself by critically analysing your own strengths and weaknesses, your upbringing and personal development, and how they play a role in your personality.
Temperament is one of the most powerful influences in your life. It shapes everything from your sleep habits to your study habits to your eating style to the way you get along with other people. That is why it is so essential to know your temperament and to be able to analyze other people’s temperaments, not to condemn them, but so you can maximize your potential and enable them to maximize theirs. Let’s take a closer look at how temperament influences your life;
How Temperament Influences Your Life
Temperament is divided into four types: sanguine, phlegmatic, choleric, and melancholic. Each type has its own unique set of characteristics that influence the way they live their lives. Lahaye explains understanding your ‘temperaments’ or personality types and mapping them to behaviors can help you to understand them better. Lahaye explains that Our Temperaments are mainly inherited from our parents, and fit into the character of extroverted or introverted and then into the four temperaments categories;
- Extroverted – Outgoing, social
- Introverted – Independent, shy
- Sanguine – Leadership, Responsive, Social, Outgoing, Lively
- Choleric – Optimistic, Impulsive, Excited, Aggressive, Restless
- Melancholy – Anxious, Pessimistic, Quiet, Rigid
- Phlegmatic – Calm, reliable, Controlled, Thoughtful, Passive
Lahaye also has a Temperament Test with 70 questions to help you work out which type you are.
‘When two people with opposite temperaments marry, it is like oil and water trying to mix. The result is often frustration, misunderstanding and conflict. If a person does not understand his or her own temperament, or that of his or her spouse, the result can be disaster.’Tim Lahaye
In ‘Why you act the way you do’, Lahaye explains that Introverted people are often seen as shy or aloof, but they are actually quite creative and have a strong inner life. They are often very independent and prefer to work alone. If you are introverted, you may find it difficult to socialize or network with people. However, it is important to remember that introverts are often very intelligent and successful people.
Some famous introverts include: Bill Gates, J.K. Rowling, Abraham Lincoln and Albert Einstein.
Extroverts are often seen as the life and soul of the party. They are outgoing, social and enjoy being around people. If you are extroverted, you may find it easy to make friends and be the centre of attention. However, it is important to remember that extroverts can also be successful people.
Some famous extroverts include: Oprah Winfrey, Barack Obama, Jennifer Lopez and Lady Gaga.
If you have a Sanguine Temperament, you will likely enjoy being around people and be the life of the party. You are probably responsive to other people’s needs and take on leadership roles easily. You might find yourself getting excited easily and may come across as impulsive or aggressive at times.
Sanguine individuals are known for their optimistic dispositions and outgoing personalities. They are natural leaders and are often successful in fields that require public speaking or social interaction. They are also known for their impulsive nature and have a tendency to be scattered and disorganized
If you have a Choleric Temperament, you are likely to be optimistic and impulsive. You might get excited easily and find yourself being more aggressive than others. You may also come across as restless or impatient at times.
Choleric individuals are known for their quick tempers and competitive streaks. They are natural born leaders who are usually successful in fields that require quick thinking and decisive action. They have a tendency to be impatient and can be perceived as bossy or domineering by those who don’t know them well
If you have a Melancholy Temperament, you might tend to be anxious or pessimistic. You may prefer quiet activities and find yourself being more rigid than others. You may also come across as passive at times.
Melancholic individuals are known for their deep thinker mentality and highly sensitive dispositions. They often find success in fields that require intense concentration or focus such as academics or research. They can have a tendency to be perfectionists which can lead to feelings of anxiety or depression if they feel like they are falling short
If you have a Phlegmatic Temperament, you are likely to be calm and reliable. You might find yourself being more controlled and thoughtful than others. You may also come across as passive at times.
Phlegmatic individuals are known for their easy-going nature and impressive ability to stay calm in stressful situations. They are good listeners and often have a large circle of friends due to their compassionate dispositions. They have a tendency to be passive and can be indecisive when it comes to making decisions
‘In order to have a successful marriage, it is imperative that each partner understand and appreciate the differences in their temperaments. Only then can they learn to accept and even enjoy those differences.’Tim Lahaye
Now that we have examined the four different types of temperaments, let’s take a look at how knowing your temperament can help you in different areas of your life
Knowing your Temperament Can Help You in Different Areas of Your Life
If you know your temperament, you can use that knowledge to help you in different areas of your life such as relationships, career choices, learning styles, and even parenting. ‘Why you act the way you do’ could significantly help your journey to Financial Independence by helping you choose the right career, or at least, one you find most entertaining and enjoyable.
For example, if you tend towards melancholia, you might want to consider a career in writing or another field that requires intense concentration because you will likely excel in those areas. If sanguinity is more your speed, then a career in sales or public speaking might suit you better because those require outgoing personalities. If choleric is more your type, then careers such as law enforcement or business might be a good fit because they require decisive action and quick thinking under pressure.
And finally, if phlegmatic is more accurate for you, then careers such as counseling or medicine might be up your alley because they require compassionate dispositions and the ability to stay calm under pressure
No matter what combination of temperaments you have, understanding how they influence your life can help you make better choices about relationships, careers, learning styles, and even parenting
Your temperament is one of the most powerful influences in your life— there is no other influence more powerful than it! Knowing your temperament (or combination of temperaments) can help you make better choices about relationships, careers, learning styles, and even parenting. Understanding your temperament can help you to understand your behaviours and how they are influenced by your upbringing, personal development, and current situation. It can also help you to improve yourself by critically analysing your own strengths and weaknesses.
Overall, ‘Why you act the way you do’ challenged a lot of my preconceptions on behaviour and through some critical self reflection I feel like I have improved as a person a bit. The book does have religious undertones which some may not like, but his teachings are just as applicable to any persons belief system. It has helped me to understand why I behave the way I do, for example seeking approval, and help me to stop the destructive and non productive behaviours associated with that.
If you’re interested in psychology or just want to better understand the people around you, then ‘Why You Act The Way You Do’ by Tim Lahaye is definitely a book worth your time. It’s an excellent read that can help you improve your relationships with others, and it’s definitely worth your time.
If you’ve enjoyed this book review, then be sure to check out my other reviews on my blog! I cover all sorts of different topics, so there’s bound to be something for everyone. Thanks for reading!
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